And I Really Don't Understand Anything Anymore

The other day, a (married) male friend of mine was at my house on a business call, and after talking for about an hour about life, love, and outlooks on the world (as we always do when we're together), I got the distinct feeling he was going to kiss me. I have learned to pay attention to this Spidey Sense, but the taking action part is what I missed because, shortly thereafter, he kissed me. It wasn't the "I'm Italian and kiss everyone on the lips" kiss I've gotten from some male friends; this was a kiss with intention. I struggled to keep my mouth closed, and I pulled away quickly, doing my best to laugh it off.

Then, today, I wandered around social media and saw that DW, my last relationship of three months, had stopped following me and my business on Twitter and Facebook. That whole situation confuses the hell out of me. "I love you" on Friday, "I'm not sure" on Sunday, "Let's break up" the following Saturday, unfriending me on Facebook a week later, and now, within a month, he's completely MIA. How does someone go from hot to ice cold in so short a time period?

These two incidents have shown me that I honestly have no fucking clue what's going on in the world. I think I'm pretty true to myself, I like who I am, and I am careful not to lead people on or be dishonest, yet a married, older man kissed me and a man who professed his love disappeared. I am left saying my new catchphrase, "Hubba-wha?!"

In speaking to my business coach this week, his suggestion was to really observe — both myself and others. According to him, I sent all kinds of signals to the kisser that I was interested, from inviting him into my house (even if for business) to talking about everything I know he discusses with everyone else we know. Likewise, I'm sure I was the culprit for creating the end to the relationship in which I was truly interested with DW.

I'm confused. I don't know what people are thinking — or why, for that matter — and I have zero clue as to their perceptions of me. I've been told that presenting as vulnerable and tender are the way to attract a man, yet he also wants a woman who is confident and assertive. How can I be both?

At this point, I'm ready to give up on the whole interpersonal relationship thing. It's way too fucking complicated.