The Softer Side of Alpha

To all of those folks who told me I really didn't need a dominant alpha male as a partner...

You may have been right. Well, partially.

This weekend, I had another date with DW, and he is a perfect partner for me. He is not a D on the DISC assessment, so not a hard-nosed, dominant alpha (which is what I had been looking for during my 4.5 years of singledom). Instead, he is an I-S and an INFP. He is outgoing, caring, sweet, and confident. That's the clincher: he is confident and truly an alpha, but he is one of the softer variety.

During the short time that we've known each other, I have seen how this man takes care of things. He made plans for our last date, did not ask any silly questions that scream of a lack of self-assuredness, and made me feel completely safe in is company. THAT is what an alpha is; if you look at a lion's pride, the alpha there is a quiet leader who only shows his strength when needed (just re-watch The Lion King). I've met a few men who are very much like this (and D's on the DISC), but I've discovered that too many of those men are so independent and don't mesh well with another D (me).

DW is strong and gentle, a combination I've not found in my life. It's disarming and greatly welcome. It helps that he's attractive, fit, an involved father to his two boys, and knows all kinds of pop-culture references. That's what got me initially interested, but the self-confidence is what will keep me around. That and the way he looks at me.

Yep, I'm smitten.