The Art of Kissing

There is more than one way to get into a woman's skirt, but likely none is as effective as a good old-fashioned kiss. The kiss is what tells us if there's more to learn, and the lips seem to be directly connected to both our sex glands and heart. How that is, I can't say, but it's something that many men don't seem to realize. They rush in open mouthed, tongue extended, a little too eager. If only they took a little time and focused on kissing and some passion, they'd likely see better results.

The best kisses become more of a "session" than just one or two kisses. Good kissing in and of itself can be pretty exciting foreplay, but you have to settle in a little bit first. The rest will come, and I promise it will be wild with abandon if the kissing starts on the right foot.

This Is Not a Porno
In x-rated movies, the point is not to highlight kissing, but when they do show any mouth-to-mouth action, it's typically more tongue to tongue than lips to lips. The best way to start a kiss is slowly. Let me repeat that: Slow down! If you're in a race to "get some," either hire someone or go it solo. When you're seducing a woman, the key is to let things linger; make her want it to move forward quicker than you're progressing. It's the secret to creating that longing and passion. Trust me.

Close Your Mouth
When babies are learning to kiss, their mouths are open and you're left with a face full of wetness. It's cute on an eight-month-old, but it's not as attractive coming from a forty-year-old man. I've seen a lot of this recently, and it's, well, gross. No one wants to see that at the pool (where I saw it), and there's no passion in a kiss that isn't a kiss at all. Once you get into things, kisses come faster and may be more open, and you'll find tongues searching for each other in the dark ... but that's another blog.

I'm not talking about keeping your mouth closed the whole time you're kissing, of course, but the first kisses shouldn't involve any tongue at all. Linger on the lips for a bit. Then, once the passion ignites, by all means use tongues, but don't enter the situation open mouthed. Instead, start with a closed mouth and then use your tongue to explore her lips and find her tongue and play with that a bit. Then end that kiss with closed mouth before moving on to the next one. Keeping your mouth open the whole time isn't even practical; you'd be drooling all over the place!

No Biting
Okay, I'll admit that this one may just be me, but I don't understand biting my lip during a kiss. If you want to nibble, there are far more exciting body parts on which to show a little teeth; the lips aren't it for me.

Use Your Hands
While kissing happens at our mouths, there are two whole bodies involved. Start with a simple hug, but pull her closer when you want to up the passion. Or explore parts of her body with your hands, slowly and then more aggressively. One of my favorite lines from a song is from Sting's "Fields of Gold": "Feel her body rise as you kiss her mouth." If you're doing it right, this will definitely happen. That's your cue that you're on the right track and to continue — or walk away, depending on your ultimate goal.

Have a Technique
Thankfully, I've only had to teach maybe two men how to kiss, and that was when I was younger, but I have come across more than that who had no "game." You really need to have some sort of plan in your head on how to kiss to make it effective. Do you want her clothes to be falling off her body? Do you want to just say good-night and leave her longing?

And don't just kiss her lips. Check out her her neck, decolletage, or ears. There's a lot of lust as you move closer to the rest of her body. She's left guessing what you'll do next and is eager with anticipation.

Each person is different, and each kiss is unique. Your innocent good-night kiss may well turn into a passionate toss around the bedroom (or kitchen, hallway...), but very little starts without a fantastic kiss.