I have been with D now for more than a year. He is in my heart completely. He, P, and I have forged a family. In fact, while D is currently out of town helping his family put on a roof, the four of us (P, the pets, and I) are at his home, which has somehow become our home.
When I entered into this relationship, I made a commitment to myself and to D that I would choose him every day. And I do, as he chooses me. Because of that, we don't have conflict. We don't argue. We don't raise our voices at each other. If we disagree, we speak calmly and listen. We approach every situation with love. Always. And what a difference that makes.
I have never had a relationship like this. Always, in the past, I have either been content and felt that I didn't need to focus on the relationship, or I was looking at others and wondering what life might be like there.
Here, I don't wonder. Sure, I can acknowledge an attractive man. But what I have is so much more than that. I find D extremely attractive, yet it's so much more than looks. He knows my heart; he knows my mind. He knows all of the buttons to push to turn me on. He's the first person I talk to in the morning and the last one at night.
Because we have chosen to be in this relationship, not only do we live a stress-free relationship, it's also not work. So often, I've heard, "You have to work at a relationship." All you really have to do is be present, listen, and love. And that's not work at all.
I learned that from being a mom. So many parents say being a parent is hard, but it's the same as any other relationship: When you are present, listen, and love, it's easy. Being a mom to P is very rarely work (sure, he's a kid; there are times). He taught me to love like this, to choose someone over anyone else.
Now I choose two people above all others. And it's easy. There aren't questions or concerns about the future. I know that D and I will be together when we're 90, and we'll still love each other then just as much as we love each other now.