Recently, I've met a few men who have flirted with me (they talked to me longer than five minutes, which men tell me constitutes as flirting). This is a rarity both for it to happen and for me to notice it is happening, believe me. What I've also noticed is that I am pretty consistent in testing them before it goes too much farther.
If you talk to one of my male friends who fashions himself a life coach, he'll tell you that women are constantly testing, and maybe that's true. I know that I definitely do it, because I want to make sure we'll be compatible and that he can deal with all of the different facets of me. I'm not sure that I do it while I'm actually in a relationship, but it's been so long since that happened that I can't really say.
In the process of testing, I'll drop little things that give the guy a hint of who I might be if we move forward. I'll talk about sex, tell silly jokes, mention that I host and attend clothing-optional pool parties. The truth of the matter, of course, is that all of these things are truly topical and not at all what define me. They hide the real me who is vulnerable and really wants to be the beta or submissive female to an alpha, dominant man in a trusting partnership. But the man has to get through my superficial tests before I let him know about that part of me.
Ladies: Do you routinely test men as either part of your dating or ongoing relationship?
Men: Have you been (or felt you've been) tested by a woman? How have you dealt with it?
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